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Wait, wait, please, don’t get angry!

I loved God of War 3. The entire game was incredibly engaging, exciting and very very well made. Everything from the gameplay to the cut scenes to the acting was staggeringly perfect and I don’t really have a single complaint about the game.

Except for one thing, hence, the title; as much as I really did love the game, I think that it was completely unnecessary.

Lets look at God of War 2. The ending was a epic fight with Zeus, the God of Olympus. After the fight, Kratos, along with the Titans, are climbing up Mount Olympus. Awesome, right?

WRONG. THE END! Wait for part three!

This, to many gamers, including myself, was sort of a slap in the face, not to mention unbelievably anticlimactic. They end the game on the fight vs the main bad guy? Who’s stupid idea was that? The same person who made the ending to Halo 2 and Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship, I guess.

And, at the time, it made us all wonder how there was going to be a whole games worth of story in God of War 3.

So, skip ahead a couple of years, and God of War 3 comes out. We begin the game right where we left off all those years ago (but now we’re in HD!). Kratos and the Titans are fighting their way up Mount Olympus. The battle is intense and gripping, but in the back of your mind, you’re thinking “How can this make a whole game? Aren’t I just about to kill Zues!?”

And then it happens. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, Kratos falls off the mountain. Falls off the bloody mountain.

And just like that, the developers figured out a way to create a whole ‘nother game. Creative, guys. Very creative.

They could have saved everyone the trouble by just ending the game at God of War 2. Another hour added onto the game would have had Kratos getting to the top of the mountain and squashing Zues into fine powder. Why was there even a need for a sequel? Why did we have to go through and kill all the other gods? As fun as it was, did we really have to cause the end of the world?

It doesn’t make sense.

I really can’t get too angry at God of War 3 because it’s so freaking fun, and the story having problems is very forgivable considering how much I liked it. But it still bugs me that the developers squeezed another game out of the simple fact that Kratos fell off the mountain.


I bought my iPad just a few short weeks ago, and it only took a couple of minutes for me to fall deeply in love with the little device. I named it River, and there hasn’t been a single day since day one where I haven’t used her to browse the web, listen to music, check my email and maybe play some games. I loved how simple the interface was, I loved how fluid everything worked and I loved how beautiful she looked, both inside and outside.

I loved nearly everything about River.

But then Apple announced iOS4. Both iPhones and iPod Touches were getting multitasking (among other things), but they were leaving the iPad out in the cold until August. Saddened, though I was at the time, I didn’t much care because I was still under the initial spell of “iPad is god”.

It wasn’t until one night, one random night, that I became jealous of the iOS 4 users.

I was lying in bed, watching a movie on Netflix (which, in itself, is a feat that the iPhone/iTouch users can’t do anyways, so that’s plus one for iPad I suppose). I can’t recall exactly what movie it was, but I was at a part where the action was intense and I was, not so literally, on the edge of my seat. Suddenly, I remembered that an item I had placed up for sale on eBay was about to end, and I wanted to check and see how much it was going for. I went to press the home button on my iPad, but stopped myself short. My brain sat still for five rather long seconds before putting two and two together; I was going to either quit my movie and then have to hunt it down again through the slow Netflix app, or get out of my comfy bed and go to my computer and look up the eBay item. Either way, my calm was disturbed.

Thus began my research into how to Jailbreak River.

The first article I found was a very informative read, called “How To: Jailbreak Any iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad” by Gizmodo (which, by the way, is a very good read, and it’s a perfect place to start if you want to jailbreak your iDevice). The instructions were unbelievable simple; plug your iPad into the computer, varify that you had iTunes 9.1.1 or below, download a very small program called Spirit and press the big “JAILBREAK” button. Simple as that, I suppose.

I was still skeptical. Though I couldn’t find a single report of an iPad bricking, the article made it very clear that it was a possibility and that was NOT something I wanted to do to my shiny new iPad. But the things I could do with the iPad while jailbroken intrigued me more and more. Multitasking, free apps, wireless sync, emulators; they all called my name and the temptation to do it became greater and greater.

But I held off.

A week or so goes by, and three of my friends with iTouches get the new update. I, once again, got jealous. And, I once again, looked towards Jailbreaking.

I went back to the same Gizmodo article and decided “I’m going to do it”. I went to the Spirit website, and the first thing I see, in giant letters is “DO NOT USE WITH iTUNES 9.2”. I looked at my iTunes; 9.2.

This knocked me a step or two backwards, and I once again backed away from jailbreaking. But this time, it was only for hours, because I had a bright idea; uninstall iTunes 9.2 and reinstall 9.1.1!

And so I did. I plugged River into Spirit. It detected the iPad, and told me to press the “JAILBREAK” button. I was very nervous, very scared my iPad was going to plunge into the abyss, never to work or be fixed every again.

I covered my eyes and pressed the button.

Not ten seconds later, my iPad screen restarts from black and allowed me access to my dashboard. “It worked!” I thought. “It really worked!!”

That whole night was spend downloading everything I could get my hands on and running as many apps as I possible could. I was having a blast watching a Netflix movie, checking my Facebook and playing a game at the same time. I downloaded apps that let me change what my buttons on the iPad do, I downloaded one that let me download Youtube videos, one that could run Hulu, one that could stream new movies, one that added a quick launch and many others. I was having the time of my life.

I was having so much fun, in fact, that I didn’t notice little problems the iPad was having. When I would run an app that wasn’t compatible with something, it would crash and I’ve have to reboot. Sometimes everything wasn’t super sleek and things didn’t run as they should. I ran into a lot of graphical glitches and had some problems with the keyboard. The iPad even hard froze once or twice and needed to boot into “safe mode” (whatever that it). But, at the time, I didn’t care, because I was having so much fun. At 5am, I fell asleep, still clutching River in my hand.

I woke up. The first thing I did was reach for River to check Facebook. I clicked her on, and a little blurb popped up saying “Hey, you’re running in safe mode; restart?”. Um, sure? After the reboot, the iPad was running slow. Facebook was taking a while and I noticed browsing was jerky. I shut down Pandora that I had running in the background and still, I was just noticing that things just weren’t the same. Everything was sluggish. There were random glitches in my apps that ran perfectly before hand. Some apps that I had bought were actually missing.

It annoyed me.

I ran the back up and got rid of the jail break.

I bought my Apple iPad because it is so simple. The bloody thing doesn’t even come with instructions; THAT’S how SIMPLE it is. Everything was there, at my fingers, fluid, like water flowing; it’s just easy to use. Everything was increcibly graphical, and best of all, my iPad has never crashed once.

After Jailbreaking, my iPad crashed ten times. In six hours.

Yes, the iDevices are tethered to Apple. Yes, Apple has a dictatorship over their device. But you know what? I don’t care. They control us, but in return, we get one thing: Stability. I never have to worry about an app crashing my device or, worse, bricking it. I never have to worry about backing up my .blob file, or whatever, in case my iPad tries to update and fails. I bought into Apple’s dictatorship because I wanted stability. Is that so wrong?

I did enjoy my time with River jailbroken. And I do miss multitasking. But I like perfection more.

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July 2010
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